Sivamayam |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Confidence & Courage Tips…
To Help You Realize Your Dreams
Brought to you by: Gabriel Daniels
Run Freely
(A Lesson About Courage)
By Gabriel Daniels
One afternoon, many years ago, I went to pick up my mother from
work. I got there a little early so I parked the car by the curb, across
the street from where she worked, and waited for her.
As I looked outside the car window to my right, there was a small park
where I saw a little boy, around one and a half to two years old,
running freely on the grass as his mother watched from a short
distance. The boy had a big smile on his face as if he had just been set
free from some sort of prison. The boy would then fall to the grass, get
up, and without hesitation or without looking back at his mother, run
as fast as he could, again, still with a smile on his face,
had happened.
as if nothing
At that moment, I thought to myself,
way?”
a big deal out of it and don't even make a second attempt. They would
be so embarrassed that someone saw them fall that they would not try
again. Or, because they fell, they would justify to themselves that
they're just not cut out for it. They would end up too afraid to attempt
again for fear of failure.
However, with kids (especially at an early age), when they fall down,
they don't perceive their falling down as failure, but instead,
treat it as a learning experience (as just another
result/outcome).
succeed. (The answer must be...they have not associated “falling
down” with the word “failure” yet. Thus, they don't know how to feel
the state which accompanies failure. As a result, they are not
disempowered in any way. Plus, they probably think to themselves
that it's perfectly okay to fall down, that it's not wrong to do so. In
other words,
subconsciously. Thus, they remain empowered.)
While I was touched by the boy's persistence,
by the manner in which he ran.
confident...so natural. No signs of fear, nervousness, or of being
discouraged—as if he didn't give a care about the world around him.
His only aim was to run freely and to do it as effectively as he could.
“Why aren't most adults thisMost adults, when they fall down (figuratively speaking), maketheyThey feel compelled to try and try again until theythey give themselves permission to make mistakes,I was equally touchedWith each attempt, he looked so
He was just being a child—just being himself—being completely in the
Confidence & Courage Tips…To Help You Realize Your Dreams
3
moment. He was not looking for approval or was not worrying about
whether someone was watching or not. He wasn't concerned about
being judged.
someone would see him fall (as there were others in the park aside
from him and his mother) and that it would be embarrassing if he did
fall. No, all that mattered to him was to accomplish the task or activity
at hand to the best of his ability. To run...and to feel the experience of
running fully and freely.
I learned a lot from that observation and experience, and have
successfully brought that lesson with me in my many pursuits in life.
Since then, I've always believed that
with absolute courage.
express himself fully and freely)—without a care for anything
external—without a care for what people would say if he/she
experiences a fall.
I believe that that courageous part of us, that courageous child within
us all, will always be with us for as long as we live.
allow it to emerge more fully.
connect with that child within us—and give that child
permission to run freely, just like that boy in the park.
He didn't seem to be bothered by the fact that maybein each of us is a little childA child that has the ability to run freely (orWe only need toWe only need to once again
Gabriel Daniels publishes
Realize Your Dreams
more...to empower and inspire you to take action...so you can get
what you want out of life, visit his website at:
Confidence & Courage Tips...To Help You. For more tips, strategies, stories, quotes, and
http://confidencetips.blogspot.com
You are free to reprint this article in your ezine or newsletter, or on
your website, as long as you include this resource box—and as long as
the article's contents are not changed in any way. (For more details,
please check the website's
License Information section.)
Confidence & Courage Tips…To Help You Realize Your Dreams
4
How To Be Confident And Relaxed
When Speaking Before A Group Of People
(Powerful Tips To Help You Become A
Highly Effective Speaker/Presenter)
By Gabriel Daniels
1. Prepare thoroughly.
Prepare the message of your speech thoroughly. Know exactly what it
is you want to bring across to your audience…and why. Knowing the
purpose
thus allowing you to be relaxed when it comes time to make your
presentation.
In addition, others find it helpful to rehearse their presentation
“physically” (or aloud—as if they were actually giving out a
presentation…the only difference is, they are speaking to an imaginary
audience) before their presentation. While others prefer to rehearse
“mentally” (visualization exercises). In fact, most or all
performers
visualization exercises before their actual performance. (This could
mean days, weeks, months, or even years in advance depending on
the type of performance—and these exercises are usually done on a
daily or regular basis.) Use what works for you.
(For those who are not too familiar with the term
is sometimes called
what you do is you imagine in your mind's eye the kind of performance
you would like to give...with as much detail as possible...and also, the
kind of end result you would like from your performance. And it can be
done with your eyes open or closed.
of your speech will help focus and organize your thoughts,peak(from speakers to athletes…you name it) performvisualization, whichmental imagery or mental rehearsal, basically,
Note:
when done in what is called “associated” mode [meaning, you are
seeing your surroundings from inside your own body—for example,
imagining the audience in front of you...imagining how receptive they
are...while you are feeling confident and relaxed where you're
Visualization exercises are much more effective and powerful
Confidence & Courage Tips…To Help You Realize Your Dreams
5
standing...and so on—and not watching yourself from a distance]…and
with lots of intense and positive feelings. Even better when you can
include as many of your five senses as possible in your visualizations.)
Of course, prepare what you’re going to wear, as well as, the materials
(ex. visual aids) you plan to use in your presentation. Also, if you need
to get directions on how to get to the venue where you’ll be speaking,
do this way ahead of time. That way, you will not feel rushed at the
last minute.
The more prepared you are overall, the more relaxed you will be
before and during your presentation.
(Of course, if it’s going to be impromptu or extemporaneous speaking,
then just do your best to organize your thoughts as quickly as you can
with whatever time you’re given. Focus on your purpose for speaking.
Ask yourself,
convey this message?”
learn more about how to do this in the information that follows.)
“What’s the message I want to convey? Why do I want toAnd stay relaxed as much as possible. You’ll
2. Wear something appropriate and comfortable for the
occasion.
When you look good (or
feel good. When you are less self-conscious, you tend to be more at
ease. Whether we admit it or not, the way we look somehow affects
the way we feel.
Of course, don’t forget proper grooming.
when you know you look good), you tend to
3. Be convinced that what you have to say matters.
Be convinced of the importance of your message. Doing this will put
you at ease and will make you appear more confident (and above all,
congruent).
Confidence & Courage Tips…To Help You Realize Your Dreams
6
In fact, do your best to speak only about things/topics you truly
believe in or are passionate about. Your conviction and passion will
naturally shine through (and applying
more). This will make you much more credible to your audience.
Remember,
you believe in what you are saying.
Principle #9 below will help evenyour listeners will only believe you if they first sense that
4. Put yourself in a “confident” state.
There are many ways to do this. One of the best ways that I’ve found
is to “act as if” you were already confident (that’s if you feel you’re not
quite in the “confident” state yet). Walk and talk the way you would if
you were already extremely confident.
Sometimes, it helps to ask yourself the following questions:
“How would I feel right now if I were absolutely confident?”
“How would I breathe?”
“How would I stand?”
“How would I walk?”
“How would I talk?”
...and so on.
Another excellent way would be for you to imagine a time in the past
when you were completely confident…then bring that state to the
present moment…and speak/present while in that state.
Ask yourself the following:
“When, in the past, was I absolutely confident?”
“How did I breathe?”
Confidence & Courage Tips…To Help You Realize Your Dreams
7
“How did I stand?”
“How did I walk?”
“How did I talk?”
…and so on.
(It’s very important that when you ask these questions, and when you
do these visualizations, you are not imagining yourself outside your
body as if you were watching yourself as an actor/actress on a movie
screen. You must be in your body…seeing things in the outside world
from inside your own body.)
Also, when asking the last few questions (while imagining a past
confident state you were in), all you need to do is imagine a time when
you were absolutely confident…and it doesn’t matter what you were
doing at the time, as long as you were absolutely confident. It does
not have to be a past speaking situation…although if you could
remember a time, that would be great.
past, empowering state into the present moment so that you will be in
an empowered state to perform at your peak in the present moment
(Your main goal is to bring that.)
5. Keep your attention/focus away from yourself…at all costs.
In other words, avoid being self-conscious at all costs…because selfconsciousness
is one of the biggest causes of nervousness. Focus
instead on the message you want to bring across to your audience.
Focus on why you are there….why you are speaking to them.
Also, avoid or interrupt any negative or disempowering internal
dialogue. Immediately interrupt the pattern when you hear the
negative voice inside of you saying things like:
looking at you...checking you out…measuring you up…judging
you…blah-blah-blah.”
negative voice in its tracks.
“Oh-oh! They’re allCome up with an effective way to stop that
Confidence & Courage Tips…To Help You Realize Your Dreams
8
Sometimes, just ignoring it and immediately changing your focus
works. At times, it may help to internally yell,
“STOP!” or, “STOP IT!”
...and then immediately change focus. The key is to interrupt the
pattern as soon as you catch it. Don’t give the monster a chance to
grow. Avoid giving it any power over you. Squash it while it’s little.
Then change your focus immediately.
By the way, I’m curious. I don’t know if this has ever happened to you,
but it’s happened to me quite a few times when I was in my teens.
You’re just walking along, naturally, without a care in the world, and
then someone comes along…someone you admire/like appears out of
nowhere…and then you lose your “natural walking rhythm” or the way
you walk feels out of sync (a very awkward feeling), all because, all of
a sudden, you place your focus on yourself (or you become selfconscious).
Has this ever happened to you?
Well, what I eventually learned later on was that, unconsciously, I was
saying to myself ,
her the impression that I’m cool.”
expressing the natural me, allowing the natural me to just shine
through, thus allowing the way I walk to be natural, I ended up
on a performance/show
trying to gain approval), and that negatively affected my
“Oh boy, I better walk nicely because I want to giveIn other words, instead of justputting(because I was trying to prove something ornatural
walking rhythm.
6. Breathe naturally and in a relaxed manner.
In the beginning, you may need to monitor your breathing once in a
while to make sure you are breathing naturally—and in a relaxed
manner. (I say this because there are probably a lot of people out
there who are not even aware of their breathing patterns…especially
when under pressure…or when the heat is on. Besides, it only takes a
second or two.)
You can usually tell if you’re not breathing naturally, because when
you are nervous, your stomach muscles either tend to tense up
unnecessarily, or your breathing tends to be shallow/fast…or both.
Confidence & Courage Tips…To Help You Realize Your Dreams
9
And as a result, you feel uncomfortable—which is a disempowering
state. And that's not beneficial to your performance.
After a while, though, you won’t have to monitor your breathing as
much. In fact, as time goes by, you will get used to breathing
naturally—and in a relaxed manner—even under pressure.
In the beginning, it will help a lot if you could make a comparison
between the way you breathe when you’re relaxed and the way you
breathe when you’re tense or nervous. Be aware of the difference.
(Meaning, whenever you catch yourself being tense or nervous, with
your heart beating fast and everything, be aware of the way you
breathe…then do the same when you catch yourself in a relaxed
mood...for example, while talking to relatives or close friends—people
you are already very comfortable with.) Once you are more aware of
the difference, you will naturally use what is more beneficial to you,
more often, and unconsciously.
(
this awareness of your breathing patterns will not violate
that principle. Remember, you will merely be doing this in the
beginning until such time when you no longer need to do it as
often...or at all. And when you do put your awareness on your
breathing in the beginning, it's best to do it during a period of
inactivity...ex. a pause between phrases or between making a point. If
you feel you're
really need to monitor/check your breathing anymore. It means you're
doing fine. Just move on with your presentation.)
Note: Although, in the previous section, I suggested not to be selfconscious,in the flow while making a presentation, then you don't
7. Speak as if you were speaking to a close friend or loved one
(in a conversational manner).
Look at individuals in your audience, eye to eye…as if you were
conversing with them individually (as if you were sitting across the
table/room from them). Talk directly to one person for a few seconds,
then move on to someone else….and keep repeating this. In fact, when
you do this, you will feel more relaxed because you will feel like you
are talking to individuals (just like in a conversation) and not to a
“group” of people. And not only will you appear very confident and
relaxed, your audience will automatically feel comfortable and relaxed.
Confidence & Courage Tips…To Help You Realize Your Dreams
10
As a result, they will be more receptive to your message. (Remember,
confidence and being comfortable are contagious.)
(An excellent book that covers this principle more thoroughly is
entitled
you find a way to access it and read it. In fact, you can always try your
local library, first, if they have it. That way, you won't have to spend
anything. Another excellent book that is closely related, which I highly
recommend you read, is entitled
Heard: Reach The First Brain To Communicate In Business And In Life
You Are The Message by Roger Ailes. I highly recommend thatYou’ve Got To Be Believed To Be
by Bert Decker.)
8. Always remind yourself that it’s okay to make mistakes.
Give yourself permission to make mistakes. It’s perfectly okay. You’re
only human. Even the highest achievers in the world make them. In
fact, everybody makes them. (Make the decision ahead of time, before
speaking in front of any group, that you will allow yourself to make
mistakes…to look awkward or foolish.)
Basically, what I’m suggesting is that you go out there and do your
best, or give your all, while at the same time, know that you are
willing to forgive yourself (and willing to continue to accept yourself)
whatever the outcome may be. It does not make you a bad person or
a fool if you make mistakes unintentionally. (If you do it intentionally,
then that’s a different story. Besides, who in their right mind would
“plan” to make mistakes in advance?) Learn from your mistakes, then
move on.
By giving yourself permission this way, you will become more relaxed.
Why? Because what creates tension, stress, or nervousness in the first
place is when a part of you is saying,
do this perfectly. You can’t screw up no matter what happens or else
people will see you as a failure.”
to naturally go with the flow...not giving a care for anything. This kind
of inner conflict (between the different parts of you) is what causes
tension, stress, or nervousness.
“You must be perfect. You mustWhile another part of you just wants
9. Express yourself fully and freely…with your whole being.
Let your conviction, enthusiasm, and passion show. Unleash them fully
and freely. And let it be felt by your audience. (If it helps, you can
imagine rays of light emanating from you, penetrating each of your
audience members.) Avoid holding back.
you will naturally become more confident.
Just let go. When you do this,
Confidence & Courage Tips…To Help You Realize Your Dreams
11
When you are speaking
feelings
fear or nervousness. And doing this usually results in
performances
from your very core, just allowing your naturalto flow outward, for some reason, you tend to forget aboutpeak(being in the “flow”).
10. Be completely in the present moment—in the here and now.
While you are speaking, keep your thoughts away from the past or
future (since focusing on the past or future can create anxiety through
the pouring in of negative thoughts—ex. negative experiences
associated with the past, or, the negative consequences that could
possibly arise in the future). Also, avoid thinking about the outcome,
as well as, your expectations of the outcome during your speech.
Simply
this case, speaking) in the present moment. This will help you greatly
in performing at your peak. In fact, this is another quality possessed
by peak performers.
flow. Immerse yourself completely on what you are doing (in
11. Avoid the need to gain approval.
What do I mean by this? Because others might say,
what if I am trying to persuade the audience to accept my point of
view, am I not trying to gain their approval?”
“Well, Gabriel,
My answer would be,
if you were trying to persuade others.”
course, be for them to accept your argument because it will benefit
both you and them in some way.
But I’m talking more about your mental attitude or mindset while you
are speaking—which in turn affects your physiological state.
The mindset that says,
That’s his/her right. At least, I did my best to persuade him/her.”
“Yes, naturally, that would be your ultimate goalYour desired outcome would, of“It’s okay if he/she rejects my argument.
Confidence & Courage Tips…To Help You Realize Your Dreams
12
Or, the mindset that says:
persuaded to my point of view, and that’s okay. At least, I did what I
could.”
“I accept the fact that not everyone will be
When you are focused on trying to impress others (because of your
need to gain approval), you will end up saying or doing things you
really don’t want to say or do (in other words, it will cause you to do
things against your will) and this is what causes stress/anxiety. You
will feel like you are betraying yourself (or going against what you
believe to be true). And you’ll end up regretting it later.
What creates stress/anxiety is when your inner voice is saying,
do this, or I must say this…or else they will think negatively of me.”
“I must
Whatever you do, avoid going into a speaking situation with the
following attitude or mindset:
ideas. I won’t be able to handle it if you don’t. I’ll feel like a failure if
you reject me or my ideas.”
attitude, even if you don’t say those words outright, your audience will
sense your lack of confidence (both in yourself and in your ideas) and
your lack of self-esteem. You’ll end up sabotaging your own
efforts…and your performance will suffer…thus, you will not be
effective in fulfilling your objective of persuading your audience.
Instead, your attitude should be more like:
valuable to offer you that I believe will highly benefit you. This is what
you’ll gain/benefit if you accept my offer. And this is what you’ll lose
out on (or this is the pain you’ll continue to experience) if you don't.
The decision to accept or reject my offer is completely up to you. That
is your right. And I’ll respect your decision. As for me, I’ll lose nothing
if you reject my offer.”
“Please accept me. Please accept myBecause if you possess that kind of“I have something very
In other words, it is you who carries the key to the treasure chest.
Since you are the one who has something valuable and beneficial to
offer your audience,
approval.
you shouldn’t appear like you’re begging for
Confidence & Courage Tips…To Help You Realize Your Dreams
13
Besides, you need to be honest with yourself and accept the fact that
you will not always win everyone to your point of view (consider
yourself fortunate if you are able to do so). Of course, you would still
do whatever it takes to try and persuade each audience member (if
the objective of your presentation is to persuade), but realize that it’s
perfectly okay if you don’t. The ones who accept your message, or are
moved by your message, are the ones destined to benefit. Don’t worry
about the rest who don’t (in other words, don’t make it a problem—
don’t let it bother you). Maybe your message wasn’t meant for them.
Or the time is not right for them to receive it. Maybe they’ll be
persuaded in the future when their circumstances change and they
remember your speech. Who knows? Whatever the case may be,
simply accept the outcome and move on.
Basically, you ought to be like a good teacher who tells his/her
students what they need to hear, and not what they want to hear…and
you would do it with the understanding that they’re free to walk away
or reject your argument if that is what they choose to do.
12. Trust in the power of your mind (more specifically, your
subconscious mind). Trust that it will deliver the right words at
the right time.
Reinforce in your being the belief that your mind will deliver the right
words at the right time. Meaning, if you are speaking without the aid
of a written script (where something is read verbatim or word-forword),
like some do (others, like myself, prefer to just write down key
words in logical progression to serve as reminders), avoid worrying
about what you’re going to say next. If you know your topic really
well,
the right time
many times prior to your presentation)…
you will only trust it
work effectively.
your subconscious mind will produce the right words at(especially if you went over the content of your speechif you will only allow it…if. But you must be in the right state for this to
Confidence & Courage Tips…To Help You Realize Your Dreams
14
You must be in a relaxed, confident, and “trusting” state. A state
where you “just know” that the words will come. (Of course, it helps
greatly if you are speaking about a topic you are passionate about.)
You must trust in your mind’s ability to deliver. The more you do this,
the more your mind will automatically deliver when you need it to.
some reason, the subconscious mind likes to be trusted. The more you
trust it, the more it wants to be worthy of that trust.
will find ways to justify that you are right in trusting it. And if you
don’t trust it, it will also find ways to justify that you are right in not
trusting it.
Actually, there may be times when your mind just goes blank (for a
second or two), for some reason, and you don’t remember the
word/term you wish to use in a sentence. In a case like that, just stay
relaxed and wait patiently. Just wait in a relaxed and expectant
state…and eventually, the right word will come. (Whatever you do,
avoid panicking. The more anxious you are, the harder it will be to
remember the right word. Remember, the less you trust your mind,
the less it will want to deliver.)
Besides, if you stay calm, most of the time, people won’t even notice
that there’s something wrong. They’ll think it was just a normal pause,
or you did it on purpose for effect. In other words, the flow of your
presentation will move smoothly without interruption. And you will
continue to be perceived as being “in charge” of the situation.
Remember this: The more you trust your mind, the more it will deliver.
And the more your mind delivers, the more confident you will become
in speaking situations.
ForIn other words, it
13. Decide in advance to tell the truth no matter what.
Of course, this is nothing new. You already know that when you are
telling the truth, you are much more relaxed or at ease. Why? Simply
because what you say and what you believe to be true are in harmony.
There’s no conflict within.
Confidence & Courage Tips…To Help You Realize Your Dreams
15
Whereas, when you are lying, there’s that voice inside of you saying,
“What if they can see through me and sense my dishonesty?”
Or,
“What if I’m ever found out?”
makes one anxious or tense.) In other words, it puts you in a
disempowering or unresourceful state. And it negatively affects your
performance. Worse, you will lose your audience’s trust once they
sense you are not telling the truth (they will somehow sense it,
subconsciously). And when that happens, it will be all over. Once your
credibility goes, everything else goes.
(In fact, just “planning” to lie already
14. Trust that you can handle whatever comes your way.
This must be one of the biggest and most important lessons I’ve
learned about effective speaking/presenting. In fact, every great
speaker/presenter does it, whether consciously or unconsciously.
If you’ll only observe the most relaxed and effective
speakers/presenters (ex. TV personalities or talk show hosts), you will
find that they have this quality. They’ll say or do the wrong things at
times and they’ll just simply laugh it off or make a joke out of it. And
then they’ll proceed as if nothing happened. They are able to
consistently do this because they have simply learned to trust in their
ability to handle whatever comes their way.
By mastering this principle, you can go very far as a
speaker/presenter. In fact, if you happen to come short in other areas,
but you have this quality, you’ll be able to face any unexpected event
with a sense of calm (while others would panic in the same situation).
In fact, this does not only apply to speaking/presenting, but to life as a
whole.
Basically, you are saying to yourself,
I can handle it. If I make a mistake, so what? It’s not the end of the
world. Besides, I permit myself to make mistakes. I’ll learn from this
experience and move on.”
the meaning you give it. Also, nothing has any power over you except
the power you give it.)
“No matter what happens, I know(Remember: The meaning of any event is
Confidence & Courage Tips…To Help You Realize Your Dreams
16
Or you might say,
times before, so I can do it again.”
your life, in the past, wherein things did not turn out exactly as you
expected—and I’m sure many of them were even events that made
you feel devastated, hopeless, and helpless...as if it were the end of
the world—but still you were able to eventually handle them.)
Again, master this principle…and you will go very far as a
speaker/presenter. Above all, you will have the strength and courage
to tackle anything in life.
(An excellent book that covers this principle more thoroughly is Susan
Jeffers’s best-selling book,
suggest that you go find a way to access it and read it. You’ll benefit in
many ways.)
“Whatever happens, I’ll handle it. I’ve done it many(There must be numerous events inFeel The Fear And Do It Anyway. I highly
15. Apply the “I don’t care” or “It doesn’t matter” attitude. (Or,
the “So what?” or “Whatever happens, happens” attitude.)
This is another very powerful principle (and it’s closely related to the
previous one—
like all the other principles in this article, apply it and discover just
how powerful it is. And once you’ve benefited from it, use it more
often. (Again, this principle applies to many situations in life and not
only to speaking.)
Does this mean that you don’t actually care about the outcome? Of
course not. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be wasting your time taking the
steps leading to that desired outcome in the first place.
Just like what we’ve covered in some of the previous sections (ex.
Principle #14). In fact, don’t take my word for it. Just
Principle #12
you are after.
Basically, once you’ve determined your desired outcome, let it go.
Surrender it completely to God. Think of something else. You have no
), it is the “state” that results from these principles that
Confidence & Courage Tips…To Help You Realize Your Dreams
17
control over the outcome anyway, so just work on what you can
control.
In other words, if there are any thoughts that are trying to scare or
hinder you, by giving you negative pictures of what
because of your decision to pursue a certain idea, just say,
care.”
change focus.
What you are basically saying is,
handle it.”
could happen,“I don’t(And “mean it”—like you really don’t care.) Then immediately“I don’t care if that happens. I can
Or,
“It doesn’t matter. I can handle it.”
Or,
“So what? I’ll handle it anyway.”
Or,
“Whatever happens, happens. I’ll handle it anyway.”
When you do this, you are basically telling the negative voice inside
you,
convincing me to stop pursuing what I want because I'm already
certain that no matter what happens, I'll be able to handle it.”
“Leave me alone. Stop wasting my time. You won’t succeed in
Basically, you are refusing to give the negative voice any power over
you.
Again, your main goal in all of this is to access an empowering state so
you can be highly effective in the present moment. And this mental
attitude or mindset will help you access that type of state.
16. Speak as often as possible (while applying all the principles
you’ve learned in this article).
Consciously seek ways to speak in front of others. Take advantage of
every opportunity to express your thoughts to others (whether it be
one-on-one or a group setting)—while applying the principles you’ve
learned—and your confidence level will skyrocket. In fact, as time goes
by, speaking in front of others will feel more and more comfortable
Confidence & Courage Tips…To Help You Realize Your Dreams
18
and natural to you.
With constant practice, you gain more mastery. And as you gain more
mastery, your confidence grows.
Gabriel Daniels publishes
Realize Your Dreams
more...to empower and inspire you to take action...so you can get
what you want out of life, visit his website at:
Confidence & Courage Tips...To Help You. For more tips, strategies, stories, quotes, and
http://confidencetips.blogspot.com
You are free to reprint this article in your ezine or newsletter, or on
your website, as long as you include this resource box—and as long as
the article's contents are not changed in any way. (For more details,
please check the website's
License Information section.)
Confidence & Courage Tips…To Help You Realize Your Dreams
19
12 Ways To Unleash The Courage Within
By Gabriel Daniels
What you are about to learn are very powerful ways to help you get
from where you are to where you want to go. When you consistently
apply the principles below, you will notice a dramatic and positive
change in your life.
Before we move on, though, I’d like to explain why I use the word
“unleash.”
I am convinced that courage is already within us all and only needs to
be “unleashed.” There’s a part of us that knows this—whether or not
we readily admit it. We only need to accept this fact.
For many years, we have been taught by society, and sadly, even by
our well-meaning relatives or friends, why we should not do
something, or why we should not pursue a particular goal. They try to
discourage us in a number of ways. Sometimes, it may not be that
they don’t believe in us or our ideas, but that they feel that if they
were to pursue the idea/goal themselves, they wouldn’t have the
courage to do it—they would be too afraid.
In other words, they pass on their fears to us unconsciously (and
unintentionally). Unfortunately, we end up making fewer attempts as a
result. And the less we attempt to do something because of fear (the
fears others programmed into us) the less our minds believe that
courage is already within us. And the less our minds believe that
courage is already within us, the more it becomes true (a reality) for
us.
In my first article,
with you an important lesson I learned, through observation, many
years ago—and that is:
time we were children. (And since we were all children at one time,
courage is inside “all” of us.)
Run Freely (A Lesson About Courage), I sharedCourage has always been inside of us from the
Courage is not something that comes from outside of us (although
external factors or influences can help in drawing that courage out, or
can help in getting us to be more in touch with that courage—and
that's what I would like to share with you in the principles below),
Confidence & Courage Tips…To Help You Realize Your Dreams
20
because absolute courage (or fearlessness) is the very nature
of our “spirit”
because in the physical world, nothing can harm a spirit...and another
reason I stress “physical” is because others may say,
spirit. Why, then, does the devil fear God?
I love the quote I read in one of Wayne Dyer's books years ago.
(Wayne Dyer, by the way, is a highly recognized best-selling author
and motivational speaker.) The quote was actually by Pierre Teilhard
de Chardin...and it goes like this:
We are not human beings
having a spiritual experience.
We are spiritual beings
having a human experience.
I figured, that's probably why kids (especially those at an early age)
are so courageous (and less self-conscious). They are more in touch
with that “spirit” part of themselves.
In fact, I believe that through the years, as people grow up towards
adulthood, they have gotten less and less in touch with that “spirit”
part of themselves due to the many self-created (or imaginary) fears—
or due to fears that have been passed on to them by others (or
society). These fears started to gradually cover up their fearless
nature—their very essence or core—just like mold gradually covers up
a piece of fresh bread left out in the open.
Keeping the above in mind, here, then, are 12 ways (I'll cover more in
future articles) to unleash the courage within:
1. Reinforce in your being the conviction that you are a “fearless” spirit
in a physical body. It's your true nature. It's your very essence. Accept
this fact and your life will change in positive ways.
Detach yourself from the fear of the body, and the mind,
clinging instead to the fearlessness of the spirit.
(at least here in the physical world—I say “physical”“The devil is a”).
~ Chin-Ning Chu ~
Confidence & Courage Tips…To Help You Realize Your Dreams
21
It is in your power to discover that who you really are
has nothing to fear, but that you make yourself fearful
each time you look outside of yourself
for some power to make you feel fearless.
~ Vernon Howard ~
2. Simply attempt. JUST DO IT. Avoid overanalyzing (which usually
results in procrastination). Once you've decided to do something, just
do it (avoid delaying unnecessarily).
Over time, this reinforces the feeling of courage in your nervous
system. You'll be more and more in touch with the courageous part of
yourself. And as a result, taking action (without hesitating) will feel
more natural to you.
It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare,
it is because we do not dare that things are difficult.
~ Seneca ~
Do it like there's no one watching, do it like you don't need the money,
do it like you just can't lose, JUST DO IT.
~ Nike Ad ~
In other words, do your best not to give fear (or excuses) a chance to
creep in. Why? Because when that happens, the following is what
normally results (as Seneca's quote explains):
A man who suffers before it is necessary
suffers more than is necessary.
Also, as Publilius Syrus’s quote explains:
Valor grows by daring, fear by holding back.
3. Give yourself permission to be courageous (avoid allowing yourself
to be cowardly). And avoid giving others (or anything) permission to
make you feel fearful. The key word here is “permission.”
Understanding this principle and applying it in your daily life will
empower you in ways you may not have imagined before. It puts you
in a powerful position because it gives you control (in other words, you
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|